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‘H-Hi. My name is Harold Thompson.’ Harold stuttered. ‘I live across the street and noticed you just moved in and I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.’ ‘Oh that’s so sweet, thank you, I remember I saw you earlier. My name is Wendy.’ she said. ‘Wendy, like from Peter Pan?’ he asked. ‘Yeah, exactly. My parents were big Disney fans.’ Wendy said embarrassingly. ‘My wife and I used to go to Disneyland all the time when we were younger.’ Harold remembered. ‘That’s nice. What’s your wife’s name?’ Wendy asked. ‘Her name was Deanna. She actually just passed away a few months ago.’ he said a bit saddened. ‘Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. It must’ve been difficult.’ Wendy said as she touched his arm. ‘Yes it’s been fairly hard and a bit lonely but I’m getting through it.’ he said. ‘Well if you need anything at all just let me know I’m right across the street. If you need help with fixing anything I’m pretty good with my hands.’ ‘Thank you, I’ll be sure to let you know.’ she. We can both type. I'll start writing up our hypothesis and research protocols while you crunch numbers.”“What if the numbers don't support our hypothesis?” I asked.“Do I have to do all the thinking?” Tom asked. “We make a choice. We either change our initial hypothesis so that the numbers support it, or we fuck with the numbers to support our original hypothesis. No one's going to know what we've done. We're going to overwhelm old Doc Smithers with the sheer volume of charts, graphs, statistical calculations, pretty packaging, and bullshit prose. Now make another pot of coffee.”Somewhere around four o'clock Thursday morning, I had a profound revelation, which Tom endorsed wholeheartedly. It wasn't the caffeine in coffee that kept a person awake. It was the fact that we had to go and take a piss every half hour that kept us from falling asleep.At two minutes before five on Friday afternoon, we placed our very professional-looking eighty-three page report, complete with.
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